The Perfect Complaint

I have found a great web site. The complaint generator at http://www.pakin.org/complaint. You just enter the name of of the source of your anguish and voila!

Sample the following completely random complaint about my dear sister's alma mater:

Asbury College has recently made a number of people very, very angry, including me. However, as anger serves no function in a successful rebuttal, I will simply state objectively that ignoring this letter can be considered an admission of guilt on Asbury College's part. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Asbury College itself. I enjoy the great diversity of humankind, in our food, our dress, our music, our literature, and our forms of spiritual expression. What I don't enjoy are Asbury College's mutinous crotchets which supplant national heroes with chthonic, fork-tongued nobodies. That's all I have time now to write. If you want to get more insight into Asbury College's mentality, though, then study the details of its homilies. Try to see the big picture: It will amaze you. It will take your breath away. And it will convince you that I sometimes feel like Asbury College has forced us into a danse macabre with its rebarbative epigrams leading us to the grave.