Engagement Party!

Mom and Dad took Bill and me and Katie and Scott to dinner at the Melting Pot to celebrate our engagement. It was a lot of fun. We had this cozy little room all to ourselves and they brought us a four course fondue dinner. THe filet mingnon and the lamb in the coq au vin fondue pot was perfect. For dessert we had cheesecake, strawberries, Marshmallows, bananas, pineapple, pound cake and brownies to dip in dark chocolate and Kirsch, milk chocolate carmel and pecan flambe, and a yin yang of dark and white chocolate. Oooh yummy. Thank you Mom and Dad.

SIghtseeing

Monday - Mom and I went shopping and picked out a new sink for her kitchen. We had lunch at Einstein's bagels and discussed theology and the apocrypha. I reglazed the ham for dinner. Yummy.

Tuesday - My dear brother, Scott, and I went shopping together. We went thrifting, where I procured a giant papercutter and a taxidermied frog. We had lunch at a mediocre Chinese restaurant and then he took me to Horsefeathers. Scott referred to it as a "hippie" store. It was a great import store. They had wonderful jewelry that sparkled. I had fun and spent money. Scott was amazed and appalled at the same time. THen we had drinks at "Its all Good" and headed home. The whole family went to dinner at Portillos (hot dog restaurant) and then saw Harry Potter at the IMax. It was great. On the way home Katie's boyfriend called to tell her he wasn't going to be able to see her while he was in Chicago (I think he needs to prioritize and Katie needs to kick his sorry ass). So she is a little down. Romance is such a pain in the ass. Keeps you in a tangle.

Today - Scott and I are adventuring to Skokie (WIsconsin?) to go to the Nickel arcade and Trader Joes where I will search for the elusive "2 buck Chuck" a fine wine that sells for $2.00/bottle. Scott M. may join us so I will have a day with two 16 year old Scotts. (Change of plans, I watched HGTV today and relaxed. No trips anywhere.)
Bill and Dad put in a sink yesterday and today are adding can lights to the kitchen.

Happy Holidays!
Congratulations Tashia on your new job!

OUT!

I awoke to hearing the dog rustle paper on the floor.

"Out!" I yelled, "Get the dog out of here! Oh, it's Mom. sorry."
Several minutes later it Riley jumped into bed with Kate and I and according to rumor it was, "Get the damn dog out of the bed."

I had a great Christmas, I got a pink shirt, a beautiful red cashmere sweater set, Dance Revolution for PS2 Eye Toy, a book, a necklace, earrings, a metal word, $40 bucks, a nerf gun that shoots discs, darts and balls, a studly cowboy calendar, a foot spa, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, financing for my jewelry studio, a scarf, bubble bath, lotion, chocolate, and more money. I am looking forward to ordering all kinds of tools for my studio. It was a rewarding season of giving.

We are off to Christmas morning church, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lunch feast."

I am on Holiday!

Today was my last day of work for this year. Bill and I leave for Chicago tomorrow. We won't be back in Texas until January 3, 4, or 5. Personally, I would just like to stay in Chicago. Merry Christmas! Happy Other Holidays! Joy Noel!

Scare on the Square

Well, I have sufficiently recovered from my Scare on the Square experience to share without my blood pressure going up, my heart pounding heavily or my adrenaline bouncing around.

I LOST THE FREAKING WINDOW PAINTING CONTEST!

I didn't even place.

The Rules of the contest were to incorporate SFA homecoming and Halloween using the theme "So Good It's Scary". I will give Second and Third place their dues, they were good and I knew it was just up to the judge which of us would take first place. I am okay with losing to the Heart of Texas and The House of Versailles, they had had wonderful windows.

I am not okay with losing to Commercial Bank. When the prizes were given, the presenter went on and on about how creative the winner was, how the winner had won several years in a row. How intricate and involved their theme was. I was sitting there wondering what window I had missed because none of the windows were as good as this guy made them sound. He then presented first place to the bank. I was stunned.

The bank (paid artist) had painted a scarecrow and some pumpkins on its windows. (no halloween, no homecoming)

It was insulting to everyone who entered the competition.

Boss Man in his striped orange pajamas!

I Could Have Said This

"To me, knowing how to wash dishes is a totally useless skill. I don't want the romance of our relationship marred by the image of me sweating over a steaming sink, which is why I always retire to the living room to read and finish my wine while he cleans up."

-Janette Barber, humorist and humanitarian

King Kong - 2005

Wow! That was a great movie. Natashia, Bill and I went today. I laughed, screamed, and cried. (I'm sure that Natashia was embarrassed for me) I can't help but scream when a giant centipede is sticking its antenae in the girl's mouth, and the bugs, bugs, and more bugs. Eww. I am also famous for crying at anything even slightly emotional, death, loss, hallmark commercials.

Going beyond the action and mayhem, this movie has wonderful depth. It shows so many characteristics of man. Beauty, hate, greed, love, cowardice. Brilliant, not your typical monster movie.

I am left wondering what became of Ann Darrow after she witnessed the destruction of Kong. How would you move forward from something that amazing? What became of her life? Personally, I kind of thought she should have jumped, but since this wasn't a love story between a woman and an ape, she got to throw herself into the arms of the writer.

Go see the movie, you will definately get your money's worth.

Congratulations

My good friend Natashia graduated today from SFA with a 4.0 GPA Summa cum Laude. Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Published!

I have been published on another blog. Hooray! My evil influence is spreading.

Another Hippo for my collection

I want a Dr. Pepper

Bill and I were at a Christian retreat recently when orders came to evacuate. Apparently it was the end of the world and we were being attacked by giant aliens who liked to eat metal. After careful consideration, we decided that the best place to hide would be a small island with no refined metal.

We built a hut out of bamboo, our furniture had pegs instead of nails, we got rid of all shoes and clothing that had metal in them so that the aliens couldn't sense us and wouldn't bother with us. After hiding out for a considerable length of time during a hurricane. I decided to go to the mainland to get some supplies (I had heard that the aliens were defeated). I went by the retreat center, which had only five survivors out of the 200 that had stayed, and dropped Bill off to see what he could salvage, then I headed to the grocery store. I walked into the HEB and it looked just like it had looked right before Hurricane Rita, the shelves were pretty bare. I went along and grabbed what I could.

When I got to the soda aisle, I saw one 12-pack of Dr. Pepper hidden in the back of the cold beer case. As I grabbed the box of sodas, I heard a commotion up front, two of the giant aliens (they looked like big slugs) were still alive and had crashed into the store. They were headed for the metal grocery shelves and were shooting lasers from their eyes. I left my cart and ran to the front of the store and checked out my Dr. Pepper. One of the giant slugs was blocking the front of the store.

After considering my options I ran for the back emergency exit figuring it was okay if the alarms were set off by my departure. I jumped in my red MR2 and headed home. As I was driving down the highway toward the washed out portion of road, I remembered Bill telling me that I had to reach 78mph to make the jump over the missing highway and get to the island.

After landing safely and hiding the car, I headed for the hut to have a Dr. Pepper confident that the slugs couldn't reach me because the ocean is full of salt and we all know what happens when you pour salt on a slug.

The phone rang a few minutes later and I woke up.

Breakfast with your friends

I got to work at 7:50 on Saturday to try and catch up with the book keeping and do payroll. Bill and Natashia came by around 10 and decided we would go and have breakfast at Mr. Wills. As Tashia is driving us to breakfast she announces, "I am kidnapping y'all. After breakfast, we are going to the blood center to donate blood for my mother." I am feeling generous and say, "Ok, that will be great." Tashia buys us a hearty breakfast of biscuits, sausage, eggs, and homefries and takes us to the Blood Center.

I am trying to remain calm since the last time I went to give blood, my pulse rate was too high. I guess I was nervous then, because 15 years ago when I gave blood the first time I had a big bruise on my arm and I passed out in the shower.

Well, the "nurse" comes out and says who would like to go first. "I will" (lets get this over with I am thinking) she takes me into a private room and pricks my finger (I always dread this because it hurts like hell to have your finger pricked), they have this new thing that does it fast and it doesn't hurt at all. Then I answer the fifty questions about sex with men having sex with men in Borneo and I am taken to the chair.

"Which arm do you prefer?" I have no idea so she says, "I will check both for the best arm." The sadistic woman then puts a band on my arm and pulls tightly throwing all of her weight into it. I am gasping in pain. She rubs on my arm to find the vein and says, "Let's try the other arm" I am thinking God, once is enough. She puts the band on the other arm and throws her weight into it again. I am trying not to gasp in pain. She quickly decides to go back to the first arm and apply the third tourniquet of terror. The band goes on and she pulls down on the strap so hard she is squatting on the floor as she fastens it.

I am in mortal pain thinking "Oh God this hurts" and trying to remain calm.

She rubs and pats on my arm where the vein is and says "now we just have to get this vein back up." I am grimacing because my arm is being severed by the tourniquet. She gets this iodine stick and pushes it really hard into the place where my vein is. It feels like I have been punctured. Then she does it again, she is apparently making an impression on my skin where she will stick the needle.

Tashia looks at me and says, "It's going to be OK Lisa" I smile and think about when it will be over.

Finally, Nurse Ratchett picks up the needle and inserts it. My arm is already in so much pain that a needle prick is nothing. She adjusts the needle a few times and finally releases the tourniquet. I squeeze the ball and watch Will and Grace on the TV. After crappy juice and cookies and the offer of a free calendar we all leave and go to the Condo and take a nap.

Two days later I still have a bruise from the tourniquet, deep muscle pain, needle marks, and a bruise around the vein. I am NEVER donating my blood again.

The Perfect Complaint

I have found a great web site. The complaint generator at http://www.pakin.org/complaint. You just enter the name of of the source of your anguish and voila!

Sample the following completely random complaint about my dear sister's alma mater:

Asbury College has recently made a number of people very, very angry, including me. However, as anger serves no function in a successful rebuttal, I will simply state objectively that ignoring this letter can be considered an admission of guilt on Asbury College's part. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to Asbury College itself. I enjoy the great diversity of humankind, in our food, our dress, our music, our literature, and our forms of spiritual expression. What I don't enjoy are Asbury College's mutinous crotchets which supplant national heroes with chthonic, fork-tongued nobodies. That's all I have time now to write. If you want to get more insight into Asbury College's mentality, though, then study the details of its homilies. Try to see the big picture: It will amaze you. It will take your breath away. And it will convince you that I sometimes feel like Asbury College has forced us into a danse macabre with its rebarbative epigrams leading us to the grave.

I have a new office

I guess I have been demoted. I no longer get the mail or faxes, I have nothing to with calendaring, I am completely out of the loop. My red stapler and I have been moved to the back office. The very back office. Boss Man told me he wants me to do the book keeping now. He says "you have a head for numbers, I think you will be happier doing this, I think you would make a great accountant."

I am being punished because I told him that I refused to do written discovery any more.

Doing discovery meant that I would compile the clients answers, create the document and wait. I would get an extension and wait, I would get another extension and wait. BM does not like to discovery and I do not like to nag and wait.

I am losing power, I am melting, I am melting.

The funny thing is, I am still writing petitions, motions, solving every problem in the office and answering everyone's questions. I am not doing discovery. I guess I can make time for bookkeeping too.

I like my new office, I can't hear BM's drawling and guffawing. I am starting to feel honest and clean again. The ringer on my phone is broken so I don't notice outside calls. It is peaceful. I told the receptionist to give calls for the BM's "legal assistant/paralegal/secretary" to the new guy.

Cymbalta makes everything better.

Job Hunting Again.

Okay, I am looking for another job. BM called at 9:30 on Sunday morning to request my presence at work at 3:00 that day. Fortunately, I had already "left for Tyler to go shopping with Natashia." He had a staff person call my home at 3:30 to find out where I was and then he came by personally to ring the doorbell, beat on the door and finally leave a note requesting my presence at the office. Thank God I don't have a cell phone. This morning I was given a 100 page legal assignment to create by 5:00 today (which I finished at 12:45 during my lunch). Unfortunately my co-workers who had the assignment last week while I was out sick did Jack @#$%. BM is bound to get worse as a critical deadline nears and he is unprepared as usual. I am waiting for a spectacular breakdown to occur in the next two weeks. I just hope he doesn't come in and shoot us all.

Today is the first day of December. Hooray! I hope that soon I will be able to pursue my art career full-time. My therapist asked me if I was going to look for another job. I said, "No, I am going to build a reputation as an artist." Why get another job that I am not going to like anyway.

I have decided on what I want to be when I grow up. It is not easy and I may be a spectacular failure, but this is what I want to do. I want to be in charge. I don't like working for other people. I don't like rules. I get bored easily. I have no intention of ever taking another job just for a paycheck. I might work part-time somewhere, but I doubt it.