New Year's Resolutions

Now that I am no longer in charge of the law office, BM is running things. (You all realize by now that the weak link is BM, not me. He is the bottleneck, the loser of files and papers, the procrastinator, the ADHD/OCD combo.) My fellow staff have informed of Boss Man's list of New Year's Resolutions to make things better at the office.

1. Boss Man's employees are just that, HIS employees, whether at work, home or play we are HIS employees.

2. All staff, including and especially Lisa (I have previously refused to participate), will carry a blue "At A Glance" calendar with them at all times. It will be kept up to date and will go home with them at night. (We all have computers on our desks which are linked to this great calendaring and database managment software called "Time Matters". By the way, Why do we need to take the calendar home at night?)

3. The calendar will be up to date. One person will be responsible for it. No one else will have anything to do with the calendar or double check this one person. The calendar person will be perfect and enter all information, even the information located in BM's car, box of papers, or brain. The calendar will be perfect.

4. Boss Man is going to move cases this year, get rid of the small stuff. To accomplish this, he has lined up 70 client files on his credenza to keep him on track. (Did I mention ADHD?) The file room is just for overflow.

5. There is no reason for anyone to be a clockwatcher when they are BM's employees, therefore the practice is working to legalize slavery in the U.S. so that we will be eagerly available 24/7. This will also eliminate the need for wages.

6. Boss Man will spy on his employees by making copies of all post-its on their desks, periodically taking every paper out of every tray in their office and going through it at home, and engaging in office gossip. This will be done without warning or regard to what the employee is working on or actual communication with the employee in question.