I quit.
I just couldn't work somewhere I was expected to address my co-workers as Mr. Jones and as Ms. Smith. I think that there would have been severe personality conflicts with my new boss.
One of my personal management mottos is:"Don't muzzle the Ox that treads the wheat."
I always imagine some poor hungry Ox tied up, walking in circles and treading wheat while wearing a muzzle. I think that is torture. Why not just let the Ox take a bite every now and then?
I think employees are valuable and should benefit in more ways than just a paycheck. A few copies and missing pens are just the cost of doing business. Trust your people, train them well, expect them to do a good job, and then fire them if they don't work out. Don't waste time on ridiculous little things.