Beyond the Call of Duty

We are having a meeting in the conference room this morning and BM (boss man) starts scratching his foot and complaining that it itches. I offer to get him the hydrocortisone cream that I keep in my desk for insect bites, but he is a tough man and says, "No, I don't need any." He takes a call, takes his shoe off and sits scratching his foot and whining.

Being the efficient problem solver, I go to my office and get the cream. I walk up to him holding the tube to squeeze into his hand so that he can apply it to his itchy foot. He raises his foot so I can apply it. Bleaugh. He has the scaliest, most disgusting sole I think I have ever seen. I squirt the tube and run.

I don't know if I will recover.

Ever.

Elvis Lives!

I gazed at her face in panic. She was speaking very loudly, "I've never met a stranger who didn't like Elvis"
"You have now," I thought. I try to smile politely and act interested.
"I saw the real Elvis three times in Vegas," she shouts inches from my face, not looking at me but past me into some unknown realm, "I've also seen Priscilla, Lisa Marie, and Nicholas Cage." She begins stroking my arm with her manicured hands. It's as if her nails are still wet, she holds her fingertips in the air and strokes my forearm with her palms. She makes brief eye contact and looks off again. "I'm god-mother to his children... and he's a Christian."

Later that same evening....

Bill and I return to our seats only to find them occupied. "Excuse me," I say, "you are in our seats, we have been sitting here all evening."
"Well, someone took our seats."
I am stunned, "So you are going to take our seats?"
"We were sitting over there and someone took our seats." He is actually decent looking and the woman with him is attractive.
" And you think its right to take our seats?"
"Someone took our seats so we sat over here."
"So you are just going to take our seats" I am incredulous.
"Well, no one was sitting here."
"We got up for intermission!"
"So did we and someone took our seats"
"So you are going to take our seats!" Blood is pounding in my ears.
"Well I guess we are just going to leave!" He gets up angrily and takes his woman with him.
"I think that's a good idea."

I won!

The deification of Elvis is a troubling thing...

The Blueberry Festival was a lot of fun this year. I paid a dollar to have Bill's hair painted orange. He went all over town with orange hair Saturday because he forgot what he looked like. It was pretty funny. "Dr. Tony" (aka Brad Maule) from General Hospital gave me his autograph. I won a purple grasshopper pull toy, a peg game, a marble game, a stadium cup and a water bottle. I petted Elsie the cow, she is so pretty and well behaved. I asked the trainers with her if she was on any kind of sedative. They said no, it was just the heat. There was a pet parade with dogs and cats and a ferret. The ferret was dressed up like a bunch of blueberries. One of the dogs was a giant blueberry. It was pretty cute.

I ate Blueberry pancakes, a blueberry scone, ice cream, chicken on a stick, an egg roll, funnel cake, kettle corn, lemonade, coffee, soda, and lots of water all between 7:45 a.m. and 12:00 p.m. I love festivals.

1st Place. "Blueberries are from heaven" 

3rd Place.  

4th Place. 

5th Place. I love this window 

judex non potest esse testis in propria causa

Bill, Kristin G. and I painted the windows of the office for the Blueberry Festival window decorating contest. We did a roaring twenties theme with lots of blueberries. It took 3 people 16 hours in 99 degree weather. People are coming by and taking photos in front of the windows and posing like they are dancing too. It is so cute.

We won second place.

The first place prize went to a paper mache slice of blueberry pie floating among clouds.

I think I am suffering from sour blueberries.

Bang! Bang! My blueberry shot me down. 

Boss Man 

Shake a leg! 

Swanky gams! 

Blueberry Blues 

Lis mota

I am here.